My tail is not impressive
But it's elegant and neat.
In length it's not excessive —
I can't curl it round my feet —
But it's awfully expressive,
And its weight is not excessive,
And I don't think it's conceit,
Or foolishly possessive
If I state with some agressive–
ness that it's the final master touch
That makes a pig complete.

Pigs are playful
Pigs are pink
Pigs are smarter
than you think.
Pigs are slippery
Pigs are stout
Pigs have noses
Called a snout.
Pigs are pudgy
Pigs are plump
Pigs can run
But never jump.
Pigs are loyal
Pigs are true.
Pigs don't care for
Barbecue.

How do you think I began in this world?
I got me a sow and sev'ral other things.
Sow or hog or some such thing.

The sow got the measles
And she died in the spring.

What do you think I made of her hide?
the very best saddle you ever did ride.
Saddle or bridle or some such thing

The sow got the measles
And she died in the spring.

What do you think I made of her nose?
The very best thimble
That ever sewed clothes.
Thimble or needle or some such thing,

The sow got the measles
And she died in the spring.

What do you think I made of her feet?
The very best pickles you ever did eat.
Pickles or glue or some such thing.

The sow got the measles
And she died in the spring.

Once was a sow who had
Three little piggies
Three little piggies had she
And the old sow always went
"Oink, oink, oink!"
And the the piggies went
"Wee, wee, wee."

One day one of those
Three little piggies
To the other two piggies said he,
"Why don't we try and go
'Oink, oink, oink!'
It's so childish to go
'Wee, wee, wee,'"

Those little piggies
Grew skinny and lean,
Skinny they well might be.
For they all tried to go
"Oink, oink, oink,"
And could only go
"Wee, wee, wee."

Those little piggies
They upped and they died,
A very sad sight to see.
So don't you try and go
"Oink, oink, oink,"
When you ought to go
"Wee, wee, wee."